Doing vs. Being
By Nikki Gaspari, MA
It’s that time of year again- Our calendars begin to fill up so fast we literally have to schedule time to breathe. Back to back holiday after holiday, family gathering after family gathering. The pressure to be “good enough” in the eyes of those who love us most dearly yet hold us to the highest of standards returns for many of us. With this often comes the pressure to “do enough”. I hear numerous primary caregivers begin cycles of guilt around holiday times. “What if I can’t afford all of the gifts my children want?” “What if my family members buy me gifts and I already know I am not going to be able to reciprocate the gesture?”. Feeling sad yet? Breathe.
What if, in this moment, you have everything you need? What if, in this moment, your children have everything they need? Can it feel okay to feel okay? Can it feel okay to not feel okay? Breathe.
What if this year, you tried something different. What if this holiday season, you gave yourself permission to take a step back, both physically and metaphorically. Is it okay for us to give ourselves space to breathe and simply be? In all of the hustle and bustle it can be so easy to lose ourselves and become drawn into the vortex of spending unnecessary amounts of both our money and our energy. As Aaron Dontez Yates wrote, “You give them everything they need but what they need is your presence indeed”. Is it enough to simply be, with the ones you love?