Continuing Down the Path of Unknowing
By Nikki Gaspari, MA
“The breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea”.
“Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley”.
“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly”.
-R. Buckminster Fuller
When we begin the journey of personal growth and introspection it is often unclear where we are going. The path is dark, the sun has set, and we have suddenly begun to lose our bearings. We stumble, unsure of where we are going. The certainty we once clung close to has evidentially slipped from our grip. Unsure of what this new way of being looks like, we begin to grip and grasp for the past, a life raft, the familiar, although it cannot be found. The future, the “what ifs”, something, anything! It cannot be found. We find ourselves with ourselves, here, now. What a scary place to be—me with me.
We continue to traverse into the unfamiliar. It’s still not clear what lies ahead. Deeper and deeper we stroll through the winding paths and crooked knolls. Lost. Where am I? Where are you? Wouldn’t it be easier if we both just knew? We convince ourselves it takes more than just one.
Soon enough however, the fork in the road becomes clear. Do you choose to keep grasping and gripping for the past and choose to make the same mistakes you’ve always made to find the same results you’ve always found? Or do you choose to continue down the path of unknowing where the road is hardly lit and it is unclear where you’ll end up?
This ‘article’ was intended to be written about nature, but frankly, I’m confused by that nomenclature. Our society inherently advocates a split and our internal process just isn’t “it”. But what if our own unique internal process is natural, however unnatural it often appears? What if it is okay to not know, to try a new way of being only to slip up and take a detour on our old, “comfortable” path, only to wake up and realize this path is a dead end?